Day 23- Tattoo's/Jewelry

I have both a necklace in Honor of my angels, and a Tattoo...

The necklace I got last year, and does not have a charm to represent the last few angels...I did not have the heart to add to it anymore, and have not had the heart to wear it knowing not all of them are represented...I know, it seems silly, but for now, it hangs in my special box, where I can see it and hold it every now and again, when I am feeling particularly sad about things...I always look at the difference in each gemstone that hangs on there, and I think about how different each one of our angel babies were, and wonder what and who they would have been had they been waking on this earth with us instead of flying in the heavens...

I got this necklace hand made by a amazing lady on BBC (baby center)...It so blessed my heart...and still does....I really should just add the last few gems...

I Got this tattoo just a couple days before the 5 year angelversary of the loss of our Hannah (at 19 weeks in 2008)....It was very healing, especially on the coat tails of the last couple of years, and us coming to the decision this summer to be "done" with TTC and treatments etc...I love that I have a way to remember and honor my angels every single day, for the rest of my life....I also have a memorial for what we have endured and lived to tell the story about...It's a stamp of strength, and courage....Every Time see it, I smile...

Romans 8:18 says- "For I consider my present suffering, NOT worth comparing to the GLORY that will be revealed to me and in me one day"

Comments

What you should know if you are considering a tubal reversal

Its been 8 years. 8 years since we took a trip to NC to see DR. Montieth in Chapel Hill. I remember being so excited. I had this picture in my head of how it was going to go during, and after it all. For those of you who don't know, I had my tubes tied in 2009, after the birth of my 3rd, directly following a traumatic still birth. It was a decision made out of fear and trauma, not an informed decision. I ended up having adverse health issues (PTLS) after, and was desperate to find a solution. I stumbled upon a private chat room with others also struggling. Several had gone for a reversal, and seemed to feel so MUCH better after. I had already seen my doctor umpteen times, and they offered no solutions, and insinuated it was "in my head".... I saw all of these ladies posting the day OF surgery saying that they felt relief! I was like, "Yes, this is it!!"... So we saved the 6 Grand, and went and did the reversal. I was PUMPED. I started a blog, YouTube video and F...

Lost for words...

I have been a funk...Not really much to say that has not already been said before..I feel like such a broken record....But I guess I should start somewhere, and give a little update of some kind... I have posted a few picture quotes that reflects some of how I am feeling, but I cannot seem to articulate MY feelings right now, in a personal way that is comprehensible to others, and doesn't make me look like an ungrateful bitch... I guess I will start off by saying, we had another chemical this last cycle...( + test's at 6/7 dpo- 9 dpo, (I tested early cause I almost threw up while socially smoking a cigg and having a drink with my friend and I didnt temp so I didn't know really where my cycle was for sure) and by 10 dpo tests had faded some, and AF came the NEXT day, even while still taking 800 mgs of progesterone supps (which I did start late at 7dpo, the day I got my first positive but none the less), giving me a whopping 10 day LP...=/ Here is one of my FRER's f...

Ok...I may be on to something....

I am scared to even get a little excited.... I want to be elated right now...I do...But all I can think of are the "what if's"....I am going to try and stay as positive as possible, and keep saying over and over..."My body WILL carry this baby to term, I will have a take home baby!" Here is a pic ( below) of the dried test progression

Purpose Driven Motherhood

Search This Blog