Day 14: Family-

Family-

I don't talk a LOT about my family on here, due to so many readers being at a venerable place, with either infertility or pregnancy loss, so I try not to "brag" about my kids are "rag" on my husband (who, by the way is perfect...lol)...I try to stay "on topic"  so to speak....But, This post gives me a chance to talk about my family....How we "came to be" and all that it took to get here, today.

My Husband and I met the summer of 2003- But did not really become friends until the spring of 04 When I became roommates with his sister'. We knew of each other, because we both had similar "backgrounds" (We had, I guess you could call a set of years where we were on the wild side a bit more than most) but were both ( separately) trying to get our acts together and "do the right thing", and focus on getting our lives stable, ( I was recovering from a very abusive relationship, with a man who also happens to be my first daughter's sperm donor-) and I was involved on my Father's local church, and it just so happened,  He  went to the same church, and we each had children  (from previous, dysfunctional, relationships) around the same age, (at that time, the girls were not even 2.) We remained platonic friends for a while before we dated, and eventually got married in July of 2005.

 

 

We brought together with us, little miss Lindsay, Hubby's daughter from a previous relationship- (now age 11)- She is one of the most sweetest young ladies and always willing to help without even being asked....She is compassionate and not a selfish bone in her body....Considering what her biological mother put her through on the weekends we didn't have her, (before we got full custody) I am surprised she is a functioning person at all, and not a PTSD stricken zombie....She still struggles academically and emotionally now and again due to the extent of what she experienced,...To say she "saw difficult things" would be the understatement of the year....But Thankfully, God has helped protect, restore and heal her heart, and finally brought her to us for "good" granting us full custody back in 2007 ...She is such a blessing to our family....

 

And also, little miss Hayden, also, now age 11- Her bio sperm donor Is not in the picture, by choice...His loss..... She is one of the smartest, most wise and stubborn girls I have ever met...She is talented in so many ways...Creative artistically, musically, and is always challenging my thinking, and coming up with off the wall ideas that make me remember what It was like to be a kid again....She brings to life, just abbot any situation...And, is always up for a "good debate"...=) Not sure where she get's that from....;)



 

 

 

Our start as a family was very difficult at first...I was just 21 and my husband 23....We both had many issues with our "EX's", and custody battles.... all sorts of drama....But we hung in there....Right in the midst of some of that crazy custody stuff, we found out we were expecting "our" first, together...Only to lose it before I even got to the Doctor....We TTC again right away, and were blessed to find out were expecting again, this time it stuck! We were THRILLED!....After  9 months, more custody drama, that almost put me in preterm labor,  and a trisomy 21 scare, we gave birth to a beautiful, HEALTHY, baby boy, named Isaiah. (now age 7) who is almost the spitting image of his Father, and a "mommy's boy" for sure.....

 

 

 

 We began to TTC for another one of "ours together"...We tried for more than 9 months or so, almost close to a year, before finally falling pregnant, which was rather different for us, considering it happened so fast previously. So naturally, this time, we were MORE than THRILLED....Things seemed to be going great till our 20 week scan, where we learned our baby girl, Hannah Marie, had passed, just days before....Autopsy and testing revealed "no cause" for the demise of our precious baby...That rocked our world,  shook our faith, and broke our hearts in ways we never knew were possible....

 

Once we got the "all clear" we began to TTC once more....This time, things had changed though....I had changed....

 

Once again, like years before, things happened very fast, and before long we were expecting again....This time though, I was scared to death....EVERY. SINGLE.DAY, I woke up in fear my baby was DEAD inside of me...I was terrified, and stressed out....Then around 24 weeks, our baby girl began to have heart issues in utero. Luckily, they went away on their own, but I spent the entire 36 weeks I knew about my pregnancy, totally terrified...But, despite it all, she came out, healthy and just as perfect as can be in July, 2009....little did we know then, just HOW MUCH of a miracle it was that she has survived my hostile body/immune system....Our miracle "baby", is now 4 years old...She is the light of family....She shines where ever she goes, with her outgoing personality, totally outrageous, "too wise for her age" statements that come out of NO where, and cause us ALL to start laughing hysterically....Her sweet spirit lifts mine up when I am down, without a word even said....Her presence simply makes my heart swell with joy...I look at her and see HOPE...I see a MIRACLE...

 

 

 

I am so thankful for EACH one of these precious little children....They all bring Joy, life, and so much fulfillment to our lives....To watch them turn into amazing, young little people,  just fills my heart to overflowing....I KNOW HOW VERY BLESSED WE ARE...I WONT EVER FORGET IT....

 

 

In May of this year, we decided we were adding to our family ONE way OR another! we were in the midst of our last "medicated TTC cycle" with Braverman, when I found an online add for puppies...We began to look around and finally, found our little baby, "Molly", who came to be with us just before I found out that cycle resulted in a ectopic, instead of a uterine pregnancy, like we had hoped and prayed for, and PAID tons of money to try and sustain....I was a mess to say the least...THEN...This little face found me....She has  healed my soul in ways NOTHING else could have...There is something about the love of a dog....Anyway...She is Now the "baby" in the family...lol...

 



 

 

 

Together, as a family, even as blended as we may be, we have all endured some pretty hard times, and some really awesome ones....Friends have come and gone.... The old have passed, new life has begun...As life has ebbed and flowed over the last 8+ years together, so very much..... As we watch the seasons change, the kids grow older, and our hair start to grey, as we move onto a new chapter and life changes, yet again...I am thankful for "us"....No matter what life brings, all that matters is that we have got each other...