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Feeling tired and blue...

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I am Tired. Really tired. Tired of TTC, and meds, and scheduled sex. I am tired of hoping, only to be let down. I Am bummed and feeling a bit blue too...A Good friend of mine, just announced the gender of her 3rd baby- ( I am of course over the moon excited for her as we were TTC together and she has suffered a couple m/c's too-) And as happy as I was, I was so sad inside still...I was due with my Feb baby the same day she was. I "should" be finding out the gender too!- I should be 30+ weeks with a Nov Baby too- and so on and so forth...It just seems to unfair.

Now here I sit, in the throws of yet another loss...Trying to put on my brave face and keep the hope alive and spark there to keep TTC. But, it is getting hard, so utterly hard. I don't know how much more I can take...This seems almost like a nightmare. Like some freakish thing you only read about in books and see on lifetime movies.  I am ready for my happily ever after....

To top it all off- My tests have progressively gotten a bit darker today....I am scared I am going to have to endure another round of metho hell....
ugh....

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