Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year!

   Wow...I cannot believe the year 2012 has come to a close! That was FAST! It feels like it was just yesterday, I was writing a post similar to this, one year ago today....But at the same time, also feels like an eternity...

 Part of me, when I was thinking back about how I felt last year at this time, was grieving that we were still "there" TTC, with  NO keeper, and NO answers at that time for the losses...The other part of me was still filled with HOPE...I was soooo hopeful that the year 2012 would not end the same way 2011 did... 

Yet, here I am, one year later, still no baby.  It is a hard pill to swallow, knowing in a few weeks, the 2 year actively TTC mark will be upon us, and we are not really any closer to a keeper than we were...I mean, ya, we do at least KNOW what my issues are ( Hashimoto's/PCOS/auto immune recurrent pregnancy loss)  and WHY I am losing baby after baby, but the solutions/treatments to those issues, are not cut and dry, and do NOT guarantee a take home baby, not in the slightest...The risks are still  high, the chances of more losses are still higher than a sticky bean...

But, even though another year has gone by,  with more losses than I could have imagined, I STILL have some HOPE left...I just have to believe we did not  come all this way to walk away empty handed! So, as this year begins, I am going to try my best, to let the pain and grief of the last 2 years fade away, and hang on with all I have to that HOPE...I want to keep it safe.....I want to nurture it, and have it grow, so that the HOPE in me, is far greater than the FEAR, pain and grief...This year will be the year of Restoration...This will be the year of break through....This will be the year we get our miracle baby!

4 comments:

  1. "I want to nurture it, and have it grow, so that the HOPE in me, is far greater than the FEAR, pain and grief...This year will be the year of Restoration" LOVE THIS! THANK YOU FOR THAT REMINDER!

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    1. I am so glad that it helped you...I need to post it on my walls all over the house and make it my mantra...

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  2. Ditto to above poster :)

    Good luck with this year. Knowledge IS power and hopefully will make this year different.

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    1. Thank you! I hope so too! Sticky beans for 2013~!!

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