Skip to main content

Happy New Year!

Image
By
   Wow...I cannot believe the year 2012 has come to a close! That was FAST! It feels like it was just yesterday, I was writing a post similar to this, one year ago today....But at the same time, also feels like an eternity...

 Part of me, when I was thinking back about how I felt last year at this time, was grieving that we were still "there" TTC, with  NO keeper, and NO answers at that time for the losses...The other part of me was still filled with HOPE...I was soooo hopeful that the year 2012 would not end the same way 2011 did... 

Yet, here I am, one year later, still no baby.  It is a hard pill to swallow, knowing in a few weeks, the 2 year actively TTC mark will be upon us, and we are not really any closer to a keeper than we were...I mean, ya, we do at least KNOW what my issues are ( Hashimoto's/PCOS/auto immune recurrent pregnancy loss)  and WHY I am losing baby after baby, but the solutions/treatments to those issues, are not cut and dry, and do NOT guarantee a take home baby, not in the slightest...The risks are still  high, the chances of more losses are still higher than a sticky bean...

But, even though another year has gone by,  with more losses than I could have imagined, I STILL have some HOPE left...I just have to believe we did not  come all this way to walk away empty handed! So, as this year begins, I am going to try my best, to let the pain and grief of the last 2 years fade away, and hang on with all I have to that HOPE...I want to keep it safe.....I want to nurture it, and have it grow, so that the HOPE in me, is far greater than the FEAR, pain and grief...This year will be the year of Restoration...This will be the year of break through....This will be the year we get our miracle baby!

Comments

  1. EmilyJanuary 1, 2013 at 6:20 PM

    "I want to nurture it, and have it grow, so that the HOPE in me, is far greater than the FEAR, pain and grief...This year will be the year of Restoration" LOVE THIS! THANK YOU FOR THAT REMINDER!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MegDE2015January 2, 2013 at 7:28 AM

      I am so glad that it helped you...I need to post it on my walls all over the house and make it my mantra...

      Delete
  2. JustMeJanuary 1, 2013 at 10:11 PM

    Ditto to above poster :)

    Good luck with this year. Knowledge IS power and hopefully will make this year different.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MegDE2015January 2, 2013 at 7:29 AM

      Thank you! I hope so too! Sticky beans for 2013~!!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Thanks for any and all comments,

Popular posts from this blog

What you should know if you are considering a tubal reversal

By
Its been 8 years. 8 years since we took a trip to NC to see DR. Montieth in Chapel Hill. I remember being so excited. I had this picture in my head of how it was going to go during, and after it all. For those of you who don't know, I had my tubes tied in 2009, after the birth of my 3rd, directly following a traumatic still birth. It was a decision made out of fear and trauma, not an informed decision. I ended up having adverse health issues (PTLS) after, and was desperate to find a solution. I stumbled upon a private chat room with others also struggling. Several had gone for a reversal, and seemed to feel so MUCH better after. I had already seen my doctor umpteen times, and they offered no solutions, and insinuated it was "in my head".... I saw all of these ladies posting the day OF surgery saying that they felt relief! I was like, "Yes, this is it!!"... So we saved the 6 Grand, and went and did the reversal. I was PUMPED. I started a blog, YouTube video and F...
2 comments
Read more

Lost for words...

By
I have been a funk...Not really much to say that has not already been said before..I feel like such a broken record....But I guess I should start somewhere, and give a little update of some kind... I have posted a few picture quotes that reflects some of how I am feeling, but I cannot seem to articulate MY feelings right now, in a personal way that is comprehensible to others, and doesn't make me look like an ungrateful bitch... I guess I will start off by saying, we had another chemical this last cycle...( + test's at 6/7 dpo- 9 dpo, (I tested early cause I almost threw up while socially smoking a cigg and having a drink with my friend and I didnt temp so I didn't know really where my cycle was for sure) and by 10 dpo tests had faded some, and AF came the NEXT day, even while still taking 800 mgs of progesterone supps (which I did start late at 7dpo, the day I got my first positive but none the less), giving me a whopping 10 day LP...=/ Here is one of my FRER's f...
7 comments
Read more

Ok...I may be on to something....

By
I am scared to even get a little excited.... I want to be elated right now...I do...But all I can think of are the "what if's"....I am going to try and stay as positive as possible, and keep saying over and over..."My body WILL carry this baby to term, I will have a take home baby!" Here is a pic ( below) of the dried test progression
11 comments
Read more