I hate this part...The part where I have to make a decision to either try or not to try this month...Sounds simple enough..Right?
Of course it is totally reasonable That I decide to take this month off and rest...After so many losses in a row...Granted this last one most likely never even got beyond 20 units in my blood...So I technically don't have to "wait" at all.. In fact they (the RE staff) encouraged me to take advantage of this cycle due to the saline ultrasound I am having on Thursday. One part of me says...I cannot possibly bear to TTC and face another possible loss...The other side says, I need to try, because this one could be IT...It could be THE ONE...Our rainbow...The possibilities...Hope...Faith...The strength of the Lord...His unfailing LOVE, and prayers from so many beautiful women all over the world....They keep me going, and believing after all of this, that we WILL have a baby...We will see the rainbow after the storm...
So...what am I going to do?
Nothing.
That's right...Nothing...
Just "be".
I will take it ONE day at a time...Living each day to the fullest...learning all I can from every moment...And Praying for that special day, when everything lines up and we catch that perfect little rainbow baby....I don't know how long this contentment will last...but for now I will take it...
Of course it is totally reasonable That I decide to take this month off and rest...After so many losses in a row...Granted this last one most likely never even got beyond 20 units in my blood...So I technically don't have to "wait" at all.. In fact they (the RE staff) encouraged me to take advantage of this cycle due to the saline ultrasound I am having on Thursday. One part of me says...I cannot possibly bear to TTC and face another possible loss...The other side says, I need to try, because this one could be IT...It could be THE ONE...Our rainbow...The possibilities...Hope...Faith...The strength of the Lord...His unfailing LOVE, and prayers from so many beautiful women all over the world....They keep me going, and believing after all of this, that we WILL have a baby...We will see the rainbow after the storm...
So...what am I going to do?
Nothing.
That's right...Nothing...
Just "be".
I will take it ONE day at a time...Living each day to the fullest...learning all I can from every moment...And Praying for that special day, when everything lines up and we catch that perfect little rainbow baby....I don't know how long this contentment will last...but for now I will take it...
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