So, a blog comment I got the other day from wonderful woman, and awesome supporter of mine, caused me to pause a bit, and kind of evaluate some things about my faith and relationship with God. Which I truly appreciate, because she was kind and not judgy in her words...And I felt God gently nudge my heart each time I read the comment over... I felt my face start to burn with emotion, as tears welled up in my eyes...And I finally admitted to myself... I do NOT trust God...At least not fully, like I once did... But I desperately WANT to be at that point again....Trusting fully...And filled with peace... I walked into this journey, to try for one more, 100% SURE , God was calling us/giving us the desire to have another baby...I/we were, 100% certain we would walk away with a baby in our arms...As a matter of fact, I would have bet my LIFE on it. Now, 3 years later, I am broken, weary, and so utterly soul shattered, that I simply cannot "look" God in the eyes...H...
So sorry hon. :(
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. :(
ReplyDeleteAw Megz, I am so so so sorry to hear this... i know it doesn't mean much, but you're in my thoughts <3
ReplyDeleteNooooooo! Ok, just breathe. I know it's hard to hold out hope, but you are not totally out until Thursday. I mean, that FRER certainly looked like more than an hCG of 8! Gosh darnit, I am just so frustrated for you. I'll be praying for you to have a miracle turn it around and bring better numbers Thursday and patience to get you through the next 48 hours. XO
ReplyDeleteunfortunately, my test is almost neg tonight- I hhad a feeling when i woke up in a cold sweat and my boobs were less sore today- but i hoped I was wrong-
ReplyDeletehere is the pic of today's tests- Top one was this morning- middle was around 11/noon- bottom was 5 pm after I got beta news-
http://i307.photobucket.com/albums/nn292/MegZzSinGZ/securedownload1-8_zps29007015.jpg
=(
I was testing positive for days- there is no way those lines were only a beta of 8 before- But HCG rises in blood first and urine second, and leaves blood first and urine second- so my blood had already dropped and My urine took till this evening to show the decline.
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