Yup- That is how I feel....
It is like the whole last month or so, finally HIT me fully...
This stuff is so over whelming...I cannot imagine how much of it just doesn't even make sense to most of you readers...I know, some of it does not even make sense to ME, and I have been researching this for OVER a year now! I am sorry if I ramble on and on and none of it makes sense...I try to explain the best I can, but even I have a hard time articulating all I have absorbed. I am trying to sift through all the stuff that is going on, and it really can feel like I am in some kind of some sci-fi experiment!
Reading up on all the specifics (and we still don't even have the FULL picture yet, and wont until the most recent labs come back) and the meds, and the protocols- I am going to be an injecting fool! LOL...Yikes. ( 4 injects a day!) But I will do it, and be happy as a clam, so long as we get a take home baby! I am simply ecstatic that my insurance covered the meds at least for one full round, (of neupogen- the rest of the meds are cheaper) and I hope and pray it only takes one round to get there!
In the mean time, I am going to, as always, lose more weight and go gluten free again. I am going to save and save and save while I get those two things in check, and hope that we come into the money we need sooner rather than later. I would love to be able to pre pay and get everything sorted out, and then just cycle whenever I feel "ready"...I am not even sure how or what "ready" looks like, honestly...lol
But still, all of complexities of this situation hit me today, and it really is a heavy load...
It is like the whole last month or so, finally HIT me fully...
This stuff is so over whelming...I cannot imagine how much of it just doesn't even make sense to most of you readers...I know, some of it does not even make sense to ME, and I have been researching this for OVER a year now! I am sorry if I ramble on and on and none of it makes sense...I try to explain the best I can, but even I have a hard time articulating all I have absorbed. I am trying to sift through all the stuff that is going on, and it really can feel like I am in some kind of some sci-fi experiment!
Reading up on all the specifics (and we still don't even have the FULL picture yet, and wont until the most recent labs come back) and the meds, and the protocols- I am going to be an injecting fool! LOL...Yikes. ( 4 injects a day!) But I will do it, and be happy as a clam, so long as we get a take home baby! I am simply ecstatic that my insurance covered the meds at least for one full round, (of neupogen- the rest of the meds are cheaper) and I hope and pray it only takes one round to get there!
In the mean time, I am going to, as always, lose more weight and go gluten free again. I am going to save and save and save while I get those two things in check, and hope that we come into the money we need sooner rather than later. I would love to be able to pre pay and get everything sorted out, and then just cycle whenever I feel "ready"...I am not even sure how or what "ready" looks like, honestly...lol
But still, all of complexities of this situation hit me today, and it really is a heavy load...
It really is a lot to wrap your brain around, but you are at least now working with a dr. who specializes in autoimmune stuff and all the work is not left you to for devising the plan. Your work is done for the research part I guess by now, and you can just let him lead the way! That's got to be a teensy bit freeing in and of itself. I know it's hard to put it all in someone else's hands after you've had to be such a researcher and advocate on your own behalf, but try to remind yourself that you are in good hands now if you can.
ReplyDeleteAs for the injections...if I can do 5 a day, anyone can do it. No, it's not fun, but like you, I just keep looking forward to the light at the end of this crazy tunnel.