So, a blog comment I got the other day from wonderful woman, and awesome supporter of mine, caused me to pause a bit, and kind of evaluate some things about my faith and relationship with God. Which I truly appreciate, because she was kind and not judgy in her words...And I felt God gently nudge my heart each time I read the comment over... I felt my face start to burn with emotion, as tears welled up in my eyes...And I finally admitted to myself... I do NOT trust God...At least not fully, like I once did... But I desperately WANT to be at that point again....Trusting fully...And filled with peace... I walked into this journey, to try for one more, 100% SURE , God was calling us/giving us the desire to have another baby...I/we were, 100% certain we would walk away with a baby in our arms...As a matter of fact, I would have bet my LIFE on it. Now, 3 years later, I am broken, weary, and so utterly soul shattered, that I simply cannot "look" God in the eyes...H...
Thank you for sharing that. I listened to the entire broadcast and am going to order the book they mentioned now "Is Your Body Baby Ready."
ReplyDeleteI know that RI is such a new science and it's hard to gain a consensus among all RE's on what they think about it and how far in depth they are willing (or able) to go with testing and treatment options. I just have that nagging voice telling me I might have a larger auto immune problem. I mean, I have 4 clotting disorders, including ANA, MTHFR, Anti-Cardiolipin AB and Protein S deficiency, 2 losses (even though one was ectopic), 1 failed IVF (even though the embryos were spectacular) AND I have relatives with autoimmune issues, like lupus. I really wish there was more peer reviewed double blind research studies to study all of the treatment protocols, but with time I'm sure they will come.
Thanks again for sharing all the great tools and knowledge. I know you've done a lot of digging on your own, and it's very helpful to share the resources that you do.