Skip to main content

Officially diagnosed...

Image
By
With PTSD Today at my appointment. I have been seeing a counselor for some of the things that I have had to endure, not just in regards to TTC/losses, etc, but in general, I had a traumatic, difficult youth, and had some some very heavy things to over come. I knew I had PTSD a couple years ago, after our 19 week loss...I just never wanted that "label" officially....But talking about it, and going back to reflect, it has brought up many events in my life that were traumatic, and give me flash backs etc. I  plan to work through some of this stuff while I am on break. I have left just about every TTC forum/group I was apart of/owned/created, in a effort to really let go and step away from virtual life and the TTC mind set....I want to renew every part of me, and stop letting the junk and negativity from the craziness of online forums rule my life even in the slightest.... I was apart of too much, for too long...and it over took me and allowed me to obsess on TTC stuff allllll day long...I need a break...for a long,, long, long time...

I will still be updating the blog...But wont be active in the forums, out side of my close knit buddy groups on FF. It's a positive thing. And I believe, it marks the start of a new season, where I really heal, and get recharged for the next time we try.

Comments

  1. UnknownJune 20, 2012 at 10:11 AM

    I mostly read ur blog and havent really commented but I wanted to let u know I was offically diagnosed w/ PTSD last year... I knew that I had PTSD but never wanted 2 know if that makes since... I am also on a break from TTC and pretty much only update my blog and I removed myself from every forum on line because I couldnt handle it so I just wanted to tell u ur not alone!!! I break is healthy and Its really given me some clarity I hope u get that also!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJune 20, 2012 at 12:57 PM

    Meg. I've been in some of ur groups and keep up w your journey here. I too have ptsd and ttc and my ep really flaired it back up for me, hence why I stepped back from online groups months ago. U felt like I was quickly losing my footing in life and had to sau no more.
    It really helps center yourself, a reboot if u will.

    I wish u peace health and wisdom on this part of your journey.

    ReplyDelete
  3. MegDE2015June 20, 2012 at 2:34 PM

    Thank you so much ladies!! It really helps to know I am NOT alone in this...Like one of you said, I knew I had it, but I never wanted to actually hear it and be labeled and "diagnosed" if that makes sense? It almost made me feel like a wimp...But I know that is not true. Again, thank you for the support...It was hard to leave all my groups, that I had poured so much into, but I know, there was no way I could really let go and heal in this break, with one foot in the TTC door...I really truely need to "let go" of it ALL...As hard as it is...I need to...I wont lie...it feels really sad, and kind of lonely, but some of that is my fault for isolating myself from people In real life, for so long while I waded through TTC waters alone, and with only online support...so now I have to flip that switch and really start to cultivate the relationships with people right here right now, in real life....It is going to be good...a process...but good!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for any and all comments,

Popular posts from this blog

What you should know if you are considering a tubal reversal

By
Its been 8 years. 8 years since we took a trip to NC to see DR. Montieth in Chapel Hill. I remember being so excited. I had this picture in my head of how it was going to go during, and after it all. For those of you who don't know, I had my tubes tied in 2009, after the birth of my 3rd, directly following a traumatic still birth. It was a decision made out of fear and trauma, not an informed decision. I ended up having adverse health issues (PTLS) after, and was desperate to find a solution. I stumbled upon a private chat room with others also struggling. Several had gone for a reversal, and seemed to feel so MUCH better after. I had already seen my doctor umpteen times, and they offered no solutions, and insinuated it was "in my head".... I saw all of these ladies posting the day OF surgery saying that they felt relief! I was like, "Yes, this is it!!"... So we saved the 6 Grand, and went and did the reversal. I was PUMPED. I started a blog, YouTube video and F
1 comment
Read more

Some statistics on Miscarriage

By
Miscarriage Statistics Overall miscarriage risk is 17-22%; risk after gestational sac is visible is 12-15% Miscarriage is one of the most frequent problems in human pregnancy. The most widely accepted definition is that proposed by the World Health Organization in 1977. The incidence among clinical pregnancies  (a pregnancy that is confirmed by both high levels of hCG and ultrasound confirmation of a gestational sac)  is about 12-15%, but including early pregnancy losses it is 17-22%. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11950476 After heartbeat is detected, risk of miscarriage is 9.4% at 6wks; 4.2% at 7wks; 1.5% at 8wks; 0.5% at 9wks To estimate the risk of miscarriage among asymptomatic women after a prenatal visit between 6 and 11 weeks of gestation where proof of fetal viability of a singleton was obtained by office ultrasonography at the same visit. METHODS: Those recruited were 697 asymptomatic women who attended their first antenatal visit between 6 (+2 days) and 11(+
Post a Comment
Read more

Trust & New Pajamas

By
So, a blog comment I got the other day from wonderful woman, and awesome supporter of mine, caused me to pause a bit, and kind of evaluate some things about my faith and relationship with God. Which I truly appreciate, because she was kind and not judgy in her words...And I felt God gently nudge my heart each time I read the comment over... I felt my face start to burn with emotion, as tears welled up in my eyes...And I finally admitted to myself... I do NOT trust God...At least not fully, like I once did... But I desperately WANT to be at that point again....Trusting fully...And filled with peace... I walked into this journey,  to try for one more, 100% SURE , God was calling us/giving us the desire  to have another baby...I/we were, 100% certain we would walk away with a baby in our arms...As a matter of fact, I would have bet my LIFE on it. Now, 3 years later, I am broken, weary, and so utterly soul shattered, that I simply cannot "look" God in the eyes...H
10 comments
Read more