Skip to main content

Still here!

I am still here! Things are going pretty good, as far as our "break" goes. I have not temp'ed in like 2 weeks! It feels so strange...And I have managed to stay away from most of my TTC groups, and have scaled back on posting in general online a great deal...I am trying to focus my time on the things I have before me...At the moment, all of my kids are off from school for the summer, so figuring out ways to keep them busy, keeps me pretty busy! I am also fixing up the house/yard and trying to do all the things I wont be able to do when we finally GET/STAY pregnant with our rainbow....

Yesterday, at church, the message was exactly what I needed to hear...It inspired me to keep trusting in GOD and walking in faith, knowing that he will come through and give us the baby he promised us...Even though my natural eyes see the devastation from our losses, and my heart feels the pain, and I read the statistics of having a take home baby after so many losses...I must keep going....Steadfastly, patiently, trusting in HIM, walking in faith, with endurance and strength, knowing we WILL get our take home baby one day, even if it is not in MY time...I will NOT let fear grip me, and make me doubt...I realized I had endured so much grief and loss, that I lost my center...And began to doubt and stop trusting in the Lord ...This break, is just what I needed to recenter my self in HIM and in his word, and get my strength back up again to walk down the rest of this road....No matter how long and bumpy it may be...We will come out on the other side of this with a miracle baby...And a testimony of faith...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What you should know if you are considering a tubal reversal

Its been 8 years. 8 years since we took a trip to NC to see DR. Montieth in Chapel Hill. I remember being so excited. I had this picture in my head of how it was going to go during, and after it all. For those of you who don't know, I had my tubes tied in 2009, after the birth of my 3rd, directly following a traumatic still birth. It was a decision made out of fear and trauma, not an informed decision. I ended up having adverse health issues (PTLS) after, and was desperate to find a solution. I stumbled upon a private chat room with others also struggling. Several had gone for a reversal, and seemed to feel so MUCH better after. I had already seen my doctor umpteen times, and they offered no solutions, and insinuated it was "in my head".... I saw all of these ladies posting the day OF surgery saying that they felt relief! I was like, "Yes, this is it!!"... So we saved the 6 Grand, and went and did the reversal. I was PUMPED. I started a blog, YouTube video and F...

Lost for words...

I have been a funk...Not really much to say that has not already been said before..I feel like such a broken record....But I guess I should start somewhere, and give a little update of some kind... I have posted a few picture quotes that reflects some of how I am feeling, but I cannot seem to articulate MY feelings right now, in a personal way that is comprehensible to others, and doesn't make me look like an ungrateful bitch... I guess I will start off by saying, we had another chemical this last cycle...( + test's at 6/7 dpo- 9 dpo, (I tested early cause I almost threw up while socially smoking a cigg and having a drink with my friend and I didnt temp so I didn't know really where my cycle was for sure) and by 10 dpo tests had faded some, and AF came the NEXT day, even while still taking 800 mgs of progesterone supps (which I did start late at 7dpo, the day I got my first positive but none the less), giving me a whopping 10 day LP...=/ Here is one of my FRER's f...

Ok...I may be on to something....

I am scared to even get a little excited.... I want to be elated right now...I do...But all I can think of are the "what if's"....I am going to try and stay as positive as possible, and keep saying over and over..."My body WILL carry this baby to term, I will have a take home baby!" Here is a pic ( below) of the dried test progression