Skip to main content

Feeling lost....

Image
By
Not really sure what to do with myself today...

It has been 29 months since I started counting down/saving up and getting ready for my tubal reversal....In that time I have poured myself into TR/TTC stuff non stop...I feel Like I have done this for SOoooooooo LONG now it feels foreign to start living life outside of these thoughts. I am just not sure what to do....I can only clean, sing, organize and play with the kids for so long before my mind wanders to the "what if's" that will come after our break is over and "what supps/meds should I take etc"....HOW do I separate from this frame of mind? How do I really "let go" of TTC and focus on "life"??  I just am not sure what to do! I want to really make the most of this time off...but it is soooooooooooo hard when I am broken over the losses... Disappointed with not knowing WHY we lose them, and scared for the future of possibly losing more...I can't seem to let go of this season of my life because I know we were PROMISED another baby...And I just don't know how to have peace till that happens...

Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 18, 2012 at 10:38 AM

    HI MY NAME IS SHELLY AND I JUST HAD A TUBAL REVERSAL 3 WKS AGO. WHEN DID U HAVE YOURS? I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR BLOGS ONLINE TO SEE IF THERE IS A GROUP DISCUSSION ON TR,. HAVENT HAD ANY LUCK BUT I DID COME ACROSS YOURS! SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT UR LOSSES. IM SO NEW TO ALL THIS AND LOST! I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST.......SHELLY

    ReplyDelete
  2. MegDE2015June 18, 2012 at 10:40 AM

    Hi shell we have a TTC after TR support group on face book. just type in Private TTC after TR in the search bar and it should pop up.
    I had my TR done March 2011.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for any and all comments,

Popular posts from this blog

What you should know if you are considering a tubal reversal

By
Its been 8 years. 8 years since we took a trip to NC to see DR. Montieth in Chapel Hill. I remember being so excited. I had this picture in my head of how it was going to go during, and after it all. For those of you who don't know, I had my tubes tied in 2009, after the birth of my 3rd, directly following a traumatic still birth. It was a decision made out of fear and trauma, not an informed decision. I ended up having adverse health issues (PTLS) after, and was desperate to find a solution. I stumbled upon a private chat room with others also struggling. Several had gone for a reversal, and seemed to feel so MUCH better after. I had already seen my doctor umpteen times, and they offered no solutions, and insinuated it was "in my head".... I saw all of these ladies posting the day OF surgery saying that they felt relief! I was like, "Yes, this is it!!"... So we saved the 6 Grand, and went and did the reversal. I was PUMPED. I started a blog, YouTube video and F
1 comment
Read more

Some statistics on Miscarriage

By
Miscarriage Statistics Overall miscarriage risk is 17-22%; risk after gestational sac is visible is 12-15% Miscarriage is one of the most frequent problems in human pregnancy. The most widely accepted definition is that proposed by the World Health Organization in 1977. The incidence among clinical pregnancies  (a pregnancy that is confirmed by both high levels of hCG and ultrasound confirmation of a gestational sac)  is about 12-15%, but including early pregnancy losses it is 17-22%. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11950476 After heartbeat is detected, risk of miscarriage is 9.4% at 6wks; 4.2% at 7wks; 1.5% at 8wks; 0.5% at 9wks To estimate the risk of miscarriage among asymptomatic women after a prenatal visit between 6 and 11 weeks of gestation where proof of fetal viability of a singleton was obtained by office ultrasonography at the same visit. METHODS: Those recruited were 697 asymptomatic women who attended their first antenatal visit between 6 (+2 days) and 11(+
Post a Comment
Read more

Trust & New Pajamas

By
So, a blog comment I got the other day from wonderful woman, and awesome supporter of mine, caused me to pause a bit, and kind of evaluate some things about my faith and relationship with God. Which I truly appreciate, because she was kind and not judgy in her words...And I felt God gently nudge my heart each time I read the comment over... I felt my face start to burn with emotion, as tears welled up in my eyes...And I finally admitted to myself... I do NOT trust God...At least not fully, like I once did... But I desperately WANT to be at that point again....Trusting fully...And filled with peace... I walked into this journey,  to try for one more, 100% SURE , God was calling us/giving us the desire  to have another baby...I/we were, 100% certain we would walk away with a baby in our arms...As a matter of fact, I would have bet my LIFE on it. Now, 3 years later, I am broken, weary, and so utterly soul shattered, that I simply cannot "look" God in the eyes...H
10 comments
Read more