Bummed out

I am feeling pretty let down today...

I know this cycle was not even supposed to be a "go" anyway, and by some miracle, we were able to try and got a dose of intralipids in there too, which was doubly awesome, and I was so thankful to have a shot at this cycle..... But still, I am feeling so bummed out today...

On 8 dpo, I woke up, broke down,  and tested...I saw a "shadow" on the wondfo's, and just kept testing throughout the day...By the end of 9 dpo, I had lines on 4 different tests, ( wondfo strip, wondfo cassette, dollar store test and FRER) squinters, but def lines. But over the course of the last few days, nothing has progressed, just kind of stayed the same...I held hope, and just tried not to obsess..( hence the not posting of HPT pics on the blog this time..Its gets to hard to have to see them, after the fact, when the cycle is a bust)

So....Today, 12 dpo, I woke up to a temp drop, and all tests now totally BFN...

I am trying so very hard not to just break down...I know I need to be realistic, and understand that just one try with the intralipids may not do the trick, and that we may need to do a couple cycles with the new protocol before we get a sticky...BUT, I was sooooo hopeful...

Even DH was really upset today....Over the last 2 years, he kind of just thought it would "happen" and that would be that...But now he is realizing this is a LOT harder than we anticipated...I think a small part of him thought it was "it" this month too...I caught him praying for me while I was "sleeping" this last week, asking God to heal my body and give us the baby he promised us...

:::sigh:::

The two year TTC mark is only a few weeks away... I never thought I would still be "here", still......