4 years ago this day...I experienced what was one of the single worst events of my life. The day we went in, and found out that Hannah was no longer alive- I honestly feel so many things today- I cannot even put them into words- I Honor my little angel, and instead of weeping I now smile, and look at the rainbow I was blessed with after the tragic loss.... Then I think of my other angels- and how long this journey has been, I feel a little discouraged- But still, behind it all, I feel HOPE...I know it almost seems inconceivable...Hope after all that has happened...But it is there....It whispers in my ear to keep trying even when every voice says " it wont happen"...I believe. We will have a rainbow after this storm.
Its been 8 years. 8 years since we took a trip to NC to see DR. Montieth in Chapel Hill. I remember being so excited. I had this picture in my head of how it was going to go during, and after it all. For those of you who don't know, I had my tubes tied in 2009, after the birth of my 3rd, directly following a traumatic still birth. It was a decision made out of fear and trauma, not an informed decision. I ended up having adverse health issues (PTLS) after, and was desperate to find a solution. I stumbled upon a private chat room with others also struggling. Several had gone for a reversal, and seemed to feel so MUCH better after. I had already seen my doctor umpteen times, and they offered no solutions, and insinuated it was "in my head".... I saw all of these ladies posting the day OF surgery saying that they felt relief! I was like, "Yes, this is it!!"... So we saved the 6 Grand, and went and did the reversal. I was PUMPED. I started a blog, YouTube video and F...
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