4 years ago this day...I experienced what was one of the single worst events of my life. The day we went in, and found out that Hannah was no longer alive- I honestly feel so many things today- I cannot even put them into words- I Honor my little angel, and instead of weeping I now smile, and look at the rainbow I was blessed with after the tragic loss.... Then I think of my other angels- and how long this journey has been, I feel a little discouraged- But still, behind it all, I feel HOPE...I know it almost seems inconceivable...Hope after all that has happened...But it is there....It whispers in my ear to keep trying even when every voice says " it wont happen"...I believe. We will have a rainbow after this storm.
After MORE than 17 pregnancies, (5 live births, one still birth, 4 back to back ectopics, and NUMEROUS early losses), a tubal ligation, tubal reversal, and tubal removal and c section .... I am saying farewell to a old friend. My uterus. I met with an OBGYN this week to look over my most recent ultrasound, that showed a large mass in the wall of my uterus. tween the pregnancies (mostly losses), the endo and PCOS, he STRONGLY recommended I have a FULL hysterectomy, including the removal of my ovaries. I am only 35 this year, so I will say I was a little taken back initially. However, when I go back and think through my GYN history, its apparent, I will ave a much better quality of life after its all said and done. Truth be told, my hesitancy inst related to the desire for more children. We are content, happy and feeling healed from the years of losses. The twins have completed our family and we are so happy to be past ever trying to add to our family again. My resistance has more...
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