Wednesday, July 25, 2012

This day...

This day 1 year ago, I was pregnant...I had no Idea how long it was last, but I was thrilled to be there, in that moment. I had so much HOPE then for bringing home a rainbow baby....Just a couple weeks later we lost the baby, and I thought for SURE by the time next year rolled around this time, I would have a baby, or be well into pregnancy...

This day two years ago, I was praying for the money to have our reversal...saving every dime, and decided not to splurge on gifts and special things I didn't need....I may have topped the day off with a cheap bottle of wine...

This day 3 years ago, I was one day post partum from having my baby girl, Kaitlyn...I also had my tubes tied...I was determined to never have to experience another loss of a baby or another complicated, anxiety filled pregnancy again...Jusr traumatized by the events I had endured previously...

This day 4 years ago, was the last time I saw my angel Hannah Marie, alive on ultrasound...She was perfect..in every way.....Just little over a week later, we found out she passed away at 19 weeks...

This day 10 years ago, I was preparing for the birth of  my first daughter in just a few weeks, folding baby laundry, and packing my hospital "bag"....

This day 28 years ago, I was born.....

This day has brought so many amazing, and some very sad memories...

But I rejoice that I am here, alive for another day, another year, getting a chance to experience the world in a new way, every day...I am thankful  by all the people and blessings in my life...I am thankful for this day....

I think I have said this before, but, my mother had at least 10 m/c's after she had my older brother, and the DR's said she would probably never carry to term again....And then she got pregnant with me....So this day gives me HOPE, that even after all the losses, I can still bring home a baby....

Even though, this year I am not pregnant or even close to it like I had hoped last year, I am excited for what this day, next year will be like...

1 comment:

  1. I hope this next year brings only good things for you. Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete

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