Hystroscopy today

I have an appointment at 10:30 am, for my in office hystroscopy. For some strange reason, I feel lightly nervous! I have had the HSG and the saline ultrasounds before and they went smooth and detected NO issues. I think we will have the same result with this test too, but I am thankful they are going to take a closer look just in case something was missed by the other two tests. For those who do not know what a hystroscopy is, it is basically a small, flexible, lighted microscope, that is inserted through the cervix and goes in to check out every wall in the uterus and the the tube openings etc. I went on you tube the other day and did a search and checked out some vids of other people's scopes, and they were soooo cool looking!! Id love to have a vid of mine...Doubt ill get it, but how neat to get to see inside our body like that! I am always amazed at the technology we have...Then It makes me kind of sad....ALL this amazing equipment and knowledge, and STILL no one knows why I am losing my babies...Perhaps this test will change that, and give us some insight, but the chances are, all is normal, like the rest of the tests have been...Don't get me wrong, I surely do NOT want there to be a problem, but sometimes it feels better to have a answer than to still be left guessing and wondering "what IF"....And "why?"....

I will post and update when I get back and let you all know how it goes!

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What you should know if you are considering a tubal reversal

Its been 8 years. 8 years since we took a trip to NC to see DR. Montieth in Chapel Hill. I remember being so excited. I had this picture in my head of how it was going to go during, and after it all. For those of you who don't know, I had my tubes tied in 2009, after the birth of my 3rd, directly following a traumatic still birth. It was a decision made out of fear and trauma, not an informed decision. I ended up having adverse health issues (PTLS) after, and was desperate to find a solution. I stumbled upon a private chat room with others also struggling. Several had gone for a reversal, and seemed to feel so MUCH better after. I had already seen my doctor umpteen times, and they offered no solutions, and insinuated it was "in my head".... I saw all of these ladies posting the day OF surgery saying that they felt relief! I was like, "Yes, this is it!!"... So we saved the 6 Grand, and went and did the reversal. I was PUMPED. I started a blog, YouTube video and F...

Lost for words...

I have been a funk...Not really much to say that has not already been said before..I feel like such a broken record....But I guess I should start somewhere, and give a little update of some kind... I have posted a few picture quotes that reflects some of how I am feeling, but I cannot seem to articulate MY feelings right now, in a personal way that is comprehensible to others, and doesn't make me look like an ungrateful bitch... I guess I will start off by saying, we had another chemical this last cycle...( + test's at 6/7 dpo- 9 dpo, (I tested early cause I almost threw up while socially smoking a cigg and having a drink with my friend and I didnt temp so I didn't know really where my cycle was for sure) and by 10 dpo tests had faded some, and AF came the NEXT day, even while still taking 800 mgs of progesterone supps (which I did start late at 7dpo, the day I got my first positive but none the less), giving me a whopping 10 day LP...=/ Here is one of my FRER's f...

Ok...I may be on to something....

I am scared to even get a little excited.... I want to be elated right now...I do...But all I can think of are the "what if's"....I am going to try and stay as positive as possible, and keep saying over and over..."My body WILL carry this baby to term, I will have a take home baby!" Here is a pic ( below) of the dried test progression

Purpose Driven Motherhood

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