So, a blog comment I got the other day from wonderful woman, and awesome supporter of mine, caused me to pause a bit, and kind of evaluate some things about my faith and relationship with God. Which I truly appreciate, because she was kind and not judgy in her words...And I felt God gently nudge my heart each time I read the comment over... I felt my face start to burn with emotion, as tears welled up in my eyes...And I finally admitted to myself... I do NOT trust God...At least not fully, like I once did... But I desperately WANT to be at that point again....Trusting fully...And filled with peace... I walked into this journey, to try for one more, 100% SURE , God was calling us/giving us the desire to have another baby...I/we were, 100% certain we would walk away with a baby in our arms...As a matter of fact, I would have bet my LIFE on it. Now, 3 years later, I am broken, weary, and so utterly soul shattered, that I simply cannot "look" God in the eyes...H...
I'm so sorry 2 hear that (((hugs)))
ReplyDeletei'm so so sorry for your loss...huge hugs!!! www.baby2bemine.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI'm so incredibly sorry. :( I really thought this was it for you... Have you had autoimmune testing done? Natural killer cells, antinuclear antibodies, antiphospholipid, etc? Most REs don't believe in it, but I've seen tons of women have repeated miscarriages or prolonged infertility get testing done and treat natural killer cells and go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies! Bring it up with your doctor if you haven't already... I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteI have asked my RE about it, he does not believe it is my "issue" but I am thinking otherwise now...I contacted DR. braverman, and may try and do a consult when I get my FSA card...I also contacted another RE in my area to see if they do some of the testing there...
DeleteI am at a loss...