Wednesday, March 28, 2012

feeling down...

Having a hard time picking myself up from this whole ordeal...

Last few days have been really hard. I ended up in the ER with severe pain and cramps, and excessive bleeding, which they said could be normal. I begged to go home, and  was set to follow up with my RE the next day, but they blew me off, and basically said, we can't help you go back to the ER if you need to...great, just great. way to make me feel like you care that I have had 8 losses in a year and can give me NO answers! I also cannot do the saline u/s till after my NEXT period...not that it will even make a difference...since I am pretty sure my issues lye elsewhere...Let me explain...

So I decided to revisit the immune testing I have looked into a few different times...I was so sure it was not my "issue" because I have had healthy children before with no problems. But the more I read the more I am convinced this is something I need to get addressed. So I contacted the BEST of the BEST in the area of medicine, Dr. Braverman. He is the top dog in this field, and knows what he is talking about, and has awesome success rates. I e mailed him, and he got back to me immediately, and even called me personally to go over some more info, and advised me to fill out the questionnaire online, which I did. Then called back to let me know he is almost 100% positive my issues are immune related, due to family history, and some of the symptoms I get around implantation time etc. he also said that having healthy children previously does not mean a thing...and that it can onset at anytime Also because my father had adult onset type one diabetes, triggered by a auto immune problem, that it could be hereditary, then factor in my mother's 10+ M/c's and I have a double whammy of things that could be immune related ... It all just makes sense...He also said that it was most likely the reason we lost our Hannah as well since  she was Chromosomally  fine and there was no issues with the placenta or clotting. It felt great to hear that someone might have some answers for me...
The catch?
......Money....It all costs money I do not have...
It will cost about a grand just for the initial consult and  follow up to go over tests and  a plan for a protocol. Then they work hand in hand with the RE I have already been seeing and I manage my cycles there, while Braverman sends over RX's etc...All feasible had we had the money to do it...Most of the rest is covered by insurance but the consults are not, because he does them over the phone, instead of going to long island in person ( he helps people from all around the WORLD, not just the USA, which is why the phone consults are so neat). I have contacted some of the ladies I know on my online support groups to ask about their experiences with Braverman, and every one of them loved him...and are now  very much pregnant...all great news...BUT, I am just crushed...
I will have to wait an entire year till next tax season before we can even revisit this.....How can I come THIS close to answers, but then not be able to do anything about it....It's just not fair...I should not have had to endure this for so long...why can't God just heal me like I have been begging for, for months...why does this have to happen to ME??
It's almost too much to take in, and too saddening to think about....

I may be MIA for a few days, I cannot even think about trying again right now...I am just totally devastated... and  afraid to try again without this testing or help, because i cannot bare another loss...I just can't!

4 comments:

  1. (((HUGS))) I dont have many words right now for u just wanted u 2 know that ur in my thoughts!!!

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  2. I know you're set on Braverman and he really is an amazing RE/RI, but maybe you could look into Dr. Sher? He does free phone consults, uses the same labs, orders just about all the same tests (depends on the situation/patient), and he can still work with your current RE. I think SIRM also has an office in New York and New Jersey. He's less expensive and could still possibly provide some answers for you! Good luck! :)

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  3. haveababy.com is his website. He also has a blog, www.IVFautority.com. I actually have a consult with him April 3rd! You can also have a consult with a doctor in your area, they all practice the same stuff and use his autoimmune methods!

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  4. awesome!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!!I just sent them a message...They have a office not too far from here actually! I reallllllly hope this will work out!!!!

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