Friday, January 20, 2012

well....

I broke down....

And started temping, again...LOL. I just could not do it anymore! The thought of going into my fertile phase "blind" made me sick. How sad is that, I can't stop temping for a few days without going nuts! But seriously, I feel much less obsessed now, because I can have control over something. I need that reassurance that I am timing it all ok, that I am doing whatever I can to better my chances... I feel like "letting go" is just giving up... and I am NOT  a quitter! I will keep going until we get our rainbow... our take home miracle baby! I know Our time is soon...

So here I am on CD 11.... few days out form O...I am feeling pretty positive about this month...I have been eating better, and exercising more, and trying to relax more in my over all sense of well being. I stress out not just about TTC stuff, but also the things that need to be/ didn't get, and REALLLLLY needed to be done, just life stuff..... Itt never gets me anywhere other than feeling like crap, so I have made an effort to be as relaxed as I can. Although I am temping again, I do feel a lot less "worried" about this month, and more excited, and just happy... Heck, I didn't even cry after all 5 of the birth announcements (with pics, mind you) poured in on facebook this evening, and the 3 other pregnancy announcements... I didn't even stomp or scream!....that's a step... who know's if I will "stay" in this nice little spot of contentment...but I will take it for now...

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