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CD-2 blues...

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I thought that taking a step back and not doing so much TTC craziness would make me feel better....But, with the start of this new cycle, and this supposed new-found "freedom",  I only feel worse...
It is like no matter what I do, think, say or feel, this journey just keeps getting harder...

It is harder to see the BFP's and the u/s pic's and the baby bellies...Harder to see the newborns and the baby stuff as I walk through target...Harder not to get angry, and frustrated and cry and scream at the top of my lungs "WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I KNOW in my heart we are supposed to have another baby...But, I am just so broken and sad today.... I am missing the babies I lost.....Another BFP won't take away that pain...not even another healthy baby born can take it away...I just want to be done with all of this...But on I go...I must try, try again, and keep the FAITH that one day we WILL bring home our rainbow baby...

with all that being said....

It is 2 PM here in NY, and I am having a BEER.... Oh yes I am! It is 5 o clock somewhere right!??

Yes, it has been one of "those" days....

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