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Post OP appt follow up-

Yesterday I had my follow up appt with my RE for post OP care after the tube removal surgery. It went well. They drew a beta just to be SURE my HCG wasn't anything BUT undetectable, then I met with the RE. He took at peek at my incisions, and did a little press here and there, and that was that. He said things look great, and does not anticipate any more issues with ectopic, as he believes most if not all my ectopics were on that right side. He gave us the "all clear" to have sex and TTC on our own without meds or intervention. He said in 2 cycles, I can come back, IF we want, and start talking IVF etc if we desire... But he did say, he does not believe we will need it, and think we can achieve a intrauterine pregnancy on our own...He is not really "into" all the immune stuff, so he does not really think that those issues factor into our situation, and that we can and will carry to term if we "keep trying"...

On one hand, lab work doesn't lie, and If I tested positive for the issues I was DX with, then I have them....BUT, at the same time... Braverman, (who DX me with the immune issues) makes lots of money if I use his "services" to manage my immune care, so he gains a LOT,  IF I put all my stock into his professional opinion...Where as, my RE gains nothing, other than maybe a blood draw or ultrasound here and there if I ever happen to pop a BFP again...So I am not really sure where to go from here....I mean, we did try on our own for 20 months (with mild intervention- no immune meds) and we GOT pregnant many times...No take home baby.....It was not till the very end of this journey, we discovered the immune issues and did a cycle with the necessary meds...For 20+ months, we had loss after loss after loss after loss, most were NOT ectopics....So I have a hard time believing that taking out a problematic tube will magically make everything better and all the sudden now we can carry to term despite the immune complications?..?? I Just don't know...It all just gets hard to see between the lines, most of which are grey...There is nothing black and white about our situation...:::sigh::

Hubby thinks we should/wants to just "live life" and have sex whenever we feel like it, and if it happens it happens...Easy for HIM to say, he doesnt deal with the physical aspect of each loss....But, With the risk of ectopic lessened greatly now, I can KIND OF entertain the idea without feeling like I am going to end up in certain danger with yet another ectopic etc.....We certainly could just "NTNP", But at what cost? How many more losses before we just can't take it any more? Before my body can't take anymore?... I just don't know any more...

What I do know? After feeling crampy, and some side pain on the left, I decided to  tests and see what was happening... My body took no time to waste getting back to normal with ovulating and all that....CD 13, + OPK...

Not sure what the future will bring for us with TTC or not TTC or NTNP, whatever......For now, we are just trying to enjoy the "now"...Watching the little (er, BIG now) miracles we have, growing up, and exploring life...We have been Apple picking, prepping for holiday's, cleaning the yard for winter...Oh, and, Planning a trip to see family in Cali! (its been 6 years since our  last visit!)...So, for now, we are just kind of walking along this road blind...Unsure of what is next, No "plans"...Just...one foot in front of the other for now...

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