Wednesday, February 22, 2012

seriously....

This is getting a bit out of control...

The last few days have been hell...I have had to force myself just to get dressed and leave the house, all while fighting off massive anxiety attacks.. and I almost hyperventilated while my hubby was trying to...um...be intimate with me...The thought of his sperm getting me pregnant again, only to lose it has me wrapped in fear that feels like s straight jacket. I have freaking lost it! I cry at every baby pic, and every pregnancy announcement...I feel this rage in side as I watch yet another ass hat get blessed with a beautiful baby that they didn't even want...

I have decided to seek out some counseling. I think I need a place to go and just let it all out...I started this blog in hopes of having it as a outlet for all of this junk, but I even feel like you all can't stand my terrible, pessimistic outlook on life right now. I hate who I am, and what I have become on the bad days...I am trying to hold tight knowing good days will soon follow, but I just cannot seem to get it together...

I just WON'T let this "break" me...I won't! But I am going to need some help to fight...

2 comments:

  1. (((HUGS))) I hope u feel better soon!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww... It's hard, so so so hard... but there are a few of us out there that can stand your pessimistic view, and even offer a hand to help you in any way possible!! (((hugs))) darlin...

    ReplyDelete

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