I really had it in my mind, that this would all be so easy. I thought coming up with the money for surgery was going to be our biggest battle, And, That by Christmas, I would be waving around a gender ultrasound, or, at at the very least announcing our pregnancy. Here we are 10 months out, and 6 losses later...It hit me...I really did have expectations set in my head about how this was all going to play out. It has been harder than I imagined to rearrange everything and get it in my head that we are still trying. I spent most of my young adult life trying to NOT get pregnant. never in my life did I dream I would have trouble getting/staying that way...such a hard pill to swallow. The fact that I have several different DR's baffled as to why we cannot keep the pregnancies...saying my case is "complex and complicated"... how uplifting... NOT! I have had to fight to keep the HOPE deep in side. I have had to fight not to let this sink me... I certainly have not done everything perfect, and I am not on the other side yet, But I am still kind of amazed, I have the strength to keep going...God is good, and i know in the end we will be blessed with another...and it will all be worth it...
Its been 8 years. 8 years since we took a trip to NC to see DR. Montieth in Chapel Hill. I remember being so excited. I had this picture in my head of how it was going to go during, and after it all. For those of you who don't know, I had my tubes tied in 2009, after the birth of my 3rd, directly following a traumatic still birth. It was a decision made out of fear and trauma, not an informed decision. I ended up having adverse health issues (PTLS) after, and was desperate to find a solution. I stumbled upon a private chat room with others also struggling. Several had gone for a reversal, and seemed to feel so MUCH better after. I had already seen my doctor umpteen times, and they offered no solutions, and insinuated it was "in my head".... I saw all of these ladies posting the day OF surgery saying that they felt relief! I was like, "Yes, this is it!!"... So we saved the 6 Grand, and went and did the reversal. I was PUMPED. I started a blog, YouTube video and F...
Comments
Post a Comment
Thanks for any and all comments,