Wednesday, December 28, 2011

A change of plans...

I really had it in my mind, that this would all be so easy. I thought coming up with the money for surgery was going to be our biggest battle, And, That by Christmas, I would be waving around a gender ultrasound, or, at at the very least announcing our pregnancy. Here we are 10 months out, and 6 losses later...It hit me...I really did have expectations set in my head about how this was all going to play out. It has been harder than I imagined to rearrange everything and get it in my head that we are still trying. I spent most of my young adult life trying to NOT get pregnant. never in my life did I dream I would have trouble getting/staying that way...such a hard pill to swallow. The fact that I have several different DR's baffled as to why we cannot keep the pregnancies...saying my case is "complex and complicated"... how uplifting... NOT! I have had to fight to keep the HOPE deep in side. I have had to fight not to let this sink me... I certainly have not done everything perfect, and I am not on the other side yet, But I am still kind of amazed, I have the strength to keep going...God is good, and i know in the end we will be blessed with another...and it will all be worth it...

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