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OBGYN appt- Update on Mass-

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Went in Yesterday to see the OBGYN about the mass in my uterus that was found a couple weeks ago.

I really don't feel like going into all the nitty gritty details, like how every pregnant and newborn that could have been in the office, was there...So Ill keep this short. The OBGYN said the mass/growth is Adenomyosis, that has considerably embedded in between the posterior uterine muscle/wall. It does not "look" cancerous in nature, but there is NO way to biopsy it due to the location and a Hysterectomy is suggested....If it grows at all or change by next can, it won't be a "recommendation"...

Obviously not right NOW, but soon... Once we get set up with DR's out there, I need a re scan of the area and a second opinion. (The OBGYN appt yesterday was already the 3rd opinion at this point if you count the ER doc's) Of course, it does NOT take a rocket scientist to figure out that a Hysterectomy would be the utter worst thing for me right now , emotionally speaking, having lost SO much...I cannot lose what makes me a woman, my ONLY chance at carrying another baby in the future if they have some medical breakthroughs in immunology...It could totally take that away from me...Not to mention, the issues that can arise with prolapse after taking out that MUCH of your insides...I do NOT want my bladder falling into my vagina! Not now, not ever....

my OBGYN did say, the mass is the LEAST of my issues, and they should be biopsying the lymphs that randomly swell with no rhyme or reason, and figuring out the source of the Bone pain etc...:::sigh::: every DR I see wants to point a finger at another DR and say "they should be doing this or that"...Meanwhile I am stuck in between, and believe me when I say, I am NOT new to being my own advocate, but when you are dealing with THIS MANY different specialists and DR's...OMG!!!!!! Brain is fried!!

Today...I am trying not to think about it all...Today, I am missing my babies...
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I am SOOOOOOOOOOO Wishing I was exhausted from nursing and sleepless nights due to cuddling and caring for a newborn, not exhausted from stress and physical limitations my body keeps putting on me that NO one can seem to give answers for or fix...


Things have to get better soon, right?

Edited to add- ANA came back positive and white blood cells are still elevated- No one knows why yet-

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