Goals reached...And Opps...

I at least accomplished one thing I set out to do...And am super close to accomplishing yet another goal...

Since June 15th, I have lost 30 lbs!

Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

AND- we are almost totally gluten free, not just me, but the WHOLE family! Eating better, staying more active....

Oh, and DH is getting a promotion soon! Not enough to pay for Adoption, surrogacy, or treatments, BUT at least enough to start getting out of the debt we got in paying for that last cycle in april...

All in all, the last 8 weeks have been productive...Def helps keep the mind from wandering....

As strange as it is....I MISS TTC....we still have as much sex as if we were TTC, so thats good, (lol) and it isn't forced, planned etc....BUT, I miss that anticipation of ovulating, then getting crosshairs on my chart, waiting to test, etc.......Even though I knew, after so many losses our chances were zlich, of getting a take home baby, I just always had some hope....As I said in a previous post, I find that Hope creeping back in..."what if we just try one more time on our own?".... So not cool....

It's even harder, not to "go there" when DH swoops in with a middle of the night quickie, for his B day- after we had had a couple screwdrivers, and forgot wrap it...

Here is hoping the alcohol, and being "irresponsible" with contraception methods will result in some kind of miracle baby...Hey, It works for the crackheads! Right?

Side note: I had to stop the seasonale BC pills last month, due to a Blood pressure spike again while on it...Hormones, hate me! I dont know why I even try to take them, I always end up with the rarest of side effects, and all sort of issues...

= /

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What you should know if you are considering a tubal reversal

Its been 8 years. 8 years since we took a trip to NC to see DR. Montieth in Chapel Hill. I remember being so excited. I had this picture in my head of how it was going to go during, and after it all. For those of you who don't know, I had my tubes tied in 2009, after the birth of my 3rd, directly following a traumatic still birth. It was a decision made out of fear and trauma, not an informed decision. I ended up having adverse health issues (PTLS) after, and was desperate to find a solution. I stumbled upon a private chat room with others also struggling. Several had gone for a reversal, and seemed to feel so MUCH better after. I had already seen my doctor umpteen times, and they offered no solutions, and insinuated it was "in my head".... I saw all of these ladies posting the day OF surgery saying that they felt relief! I was like, "Yes, this is it!!"... So we saved the 6 Grand, and went and did the reversal. I was PUMPED. I started a blog, YouTube video and F...

Lost for words...

I have been a funk...Not really much to say that has not already been said before..I feel like such a broken record....But I guess I should start somewhere, and give a little update of some kind... I have posted a few picture quotes that reflects some of how I am feeling, but I cannot seem to articulate MY feelings right now, in a personal way that is comprehensible to others, and doesn't make me look like an ungrateful bitch... I guess I will start off by saying, we had another chemical this last cycle...( + test's at 6/7 dpo- 9 dpo, (I tested early cause I almost threw up while socially smoking a cigg and having a drink with my friend and I didnt temp so I didn't know really where my cycle was for sure) and by 10 dpo tests had faded some, and AF came the NEXT day, even while still taking 800 mgs of progesterone supps (which I did start late at 7dpo, the day I got my first positive but none the less), giving me a whopping 10 day LP...=/ Here is one of my FRER's f...

Bye Felicia!

After MORE than 17 pregnancies, (5 live births, one still birth, 4 back to back ectopics, and NUMEROUS early losses), a tubal ligation, tubal reversal, and tubal removal and c section .... I am saying farewell to a old friend. My uterus. I met with an OBGYN this week to look over my most recent ultrasound, that showed a large mass in the wall of my uterus. tween the pregnancies (mostly losses), the endo and PCOS, he STRONGLY recommended I have a FULL hysterectomy, including the removal of my ovaries. I am only 35 this year, so I will say I was a little taken back initially. However, when I go back and think through my GYN history, its apparent, I will ave a much better quality of life after its all said and done. Truth be told, my hesitancy inst related to the desire for more children. We are content, happy and feeling healed from the years of losses. The twins have completed our family and we are so happy to be past ever trying to add to our family again. My resistance has more...

Purpose Driven Motherhood

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