Purpose Driven Motherhood

I renewed my Fertility Friend VIP subscription again, for one more year...I have been a VIP member for 3 years now...3 years of charting...2 full years of actively TTC with interventions....No take home baby...ugh.... I had like 100+ days left on my subscription as it was, but I figured I would snag the deal for 24 bucks "just cause"...I have 479 days left now....All know is... I better have a freaking baby by the time I need to renew again!!!!!!!

I got all the info on the specifics of the money today, and It looks like it will hit our bank around April 20th-25th give or take a few days to let the bank clear the check too...I am soooooooo excited!!!!  We are going to have a chance!!! Finally, a real chance, with the meds we NEED to actually have a shot!!! Eeeekkk!  I don't even want to think about what we will do if it doesn't work...So, I wont....At least not right now...=) I went shopping today and got all kinds of stuff to get me jump started on eating better. I have recently found I LOVE almond and cashew butter on celery, and gluten free pretzels. Anyway, I am not going to go full out yet on the diet, going to integrate it in over the next 3 weeks or so... Then I will go all GF crazy right before we cycle...Hopefully in May/June! Oh, and my MOM is coming to visit from April 1st- the 10th!! I am so excited!! It has been almost 2 years since we have seen her/her husband, and the kids have...

I am sooooooooooooooooooooo  freaking excited!!!!!!!!!!!! I just got the news..... we will have the money we need to do a couple cycles with Braverman and the new meds/protocol!!!!! Thank you LORD!!! I cant even begin to explain how much of a miracle it was we got this money!! I am just beyond words...My heart if filled with gratitude!! Oh, and my Neupogen should be here on my door step this afternoon, set and ready for when we start out new cocktail of craziness! I also have my trigger inject and plenty of femara set and ready to go too!! eeek! I cannot wait!! It is looking like late May, or early June when we will start everything...Or whenever AF shows after my follow up appt with Braverman, which is booked for 5/11/13, in Woodbury Long Island. Looks like I need to get my butt in gear and start my gluten free adventures again, and lose this weight!! I cannot wait to start back on our journey to a take home baby....THIS time, with a real CHANCE!!

Here are a few Vid's from my DR explaining some of the tests, treatments and immune mechanisms. The ones I am posting are relevant to me. NK cellls The one below is on still birth- caution for those easily triggered by such a topic. this one about PCOS

Yup- That is how I feel.... It is like the whole last month or so, finally HIT me fully...    This stuff is so over whelming...I cannot imagine how much of it just doesn't even make sense to most of you readers...I know, some of it does not even make sense to ME, and I have been researching this for OVER a year now! I am sorry if I ramble on and on and none of it makes sense...I try to explain the best I can, but even I have a hard time articulating all I have absorbed. I am trying to sift through all the stuff that is going on, and it really can feel like I am in some kind of some sci-fi experiment!    Reading up on all the specifics (and we still don't even have the FULL picture yet, and wont until the most recent labs come back) and the meds, and the protocols- I am going to be an injecting fool! LOL...Yikes. ( 4 injects a day!)  But I will do it, and be happy as a clam, so long as we get a take home baby! I am simply ecstatic ...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I took a shot AND asked the DR if he could send in a RX to see if the insurance I have NOW (not the crappy one I will have in 2 weeks) will cover the Neupogen I needed for the treatments....They covered  it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 70 bucks!!!!!!!! way better than 2 grand!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We may actually be able to pull this off if we save for the cycle fee and stuff!!! I am soooooooooooo over the moon!! Praise GOD!!!!!

I have so much to say....Its all just reeling in my head over and over,  but not really sinking in...Not sure of it was the HELLISH trip out of the city, or the darn GPS that was being stupid, or the cranky whiny kids, crying in the back, or the fact that I have not eaten all day, and my stomach is doing flip flops...But holy moly, I am zapped of energy, patience, and mental clarity...I will try to do the best I can to explain things..bare with me... First, he does not believe I have MS, but that the immune issues I have been facing from the losses is just manifesting it self a bit different. Basically the inflammation and activation in my body due to the losses etc, can really wreak havoc on the body. I will still go for the scan, with the other DR, but was glad to hear he didn't think it was it..still I have to see the Nero to rule that out. But, anyway... Then he went over all my losses, and the duration of each pregnancy etc...One thing he said , I though...