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shot up

Went in for my beta today- it went up but not appropriately again, and that combined  with the mass they saw on ultrasound they decided to give me the methotrexate inject. I got one shot in each hip ( it is measured out by weight when administered- my fat ass needed more meds than one inject could hold), and some pain meds, and was on my way....

\While on my way home,  I was in the middle of crying and being depressed because I just killed my baby, that probably would have stuck had it not been in my damn tube, I forgot to put on my blue tooth while talking to DH, in my emotional state...Of course, I drive RIGHT by a sheriff, who proceeds to pull me over and give me a ticket even after I told him the circumstances....

Feeling so empty and crushed today....
=(

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Ok...I may be on to something....

I am scared to even get a little excited.... I want to be elated right now...I do...But all I can think of are the "what if's"....I am going to try and stay as positive as possible, and keep saying over and over..."My body WILL carry this baby to term, I will have a take home baby!" Here is a pic ( below) of the dried test progression