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The more reading I do...

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The worse it gets...UGH...This HLA/DQ match stuff sucks...

I am still just baffled that we are even having to deal with this!? It just seems so crazy to me! What are the chances!?...I always seem to be apart of that "less than 1% of 1%" group that the stupidest crap happens to! UGH....

I am trying to keep the faith and know that I believe in a God who can do amazing miracles, but at the same time, I also have to be wise, and let my body and mind rest a bit...I have been through so very much...

I have decided to go on a couple cycles of birth control, to let my system "rest" a bit so to speak, while we figure out a game plan with the new DR, and figure out if insurance will cover the treatments. (please God, please!)...The two meds we would need are either Neupogen, or IVIG- both of which are VERY, VERY expensive, and are VERY hard to get covered by insurance...:sigh:

This is all just so much to take in...Passing the 2 year mark, with NO baby, NO BFP, and now, not even the CHANCE at another baby for a while...It hurts soooo, sooo much .... I hate, hate, hate this...I keep trying to focus on other things so I don't get down in the dumps, but no matter what I do, I just keep coming back to all of this bad news, and I just can't help but cry...

I do know, that I will make it through this, and I will be stronger because of it...I wont let this break me...I believe, that some how, some way, we will be blessed with a miracle...I don't know what that is going to look like, but I know it in my heart....Lord just give me peace, and strength until then....





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