Friday, December 30, 2011

How it happened....

  Some of you may be wondering exactly how I came to the realization that I wanted to get my reversal done....

It all started in the first couple months following the ligation. ( the one that, mind you, I had chosen to get mostly out of fear due to my 2nd trimester loss the year prior, and a VERY hard subsequent pregnancy that left me scared to ever try again)... I started having some nasty issues with Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome. At the time, I had NO idea what it was. I saw a few different DR's and they ran a lot of tests... all pretty normal, except a few "borderline" hormonal issues, but nothing they wanted to correct with hormonal therapy due to family history of breast cancers etc. I dealt with it for a few more months, then had a wacky cycle( March 2010) that landed me in urgent care in severe pain. Of course, like before, no answers. I went home and did a few hours of googling, and found some info on Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome ( PTLS), at first, I thought it was a BUNCH of mumbo jumbo... I mean really!? But as I read more and more, things started to "click" and as I read  all the "symptoms" listed on the PTLS page, I was shocked I had almost ALL of them! I sat on this info for a few weeks, and just tried to digest it all without being all silly and trying to diagnose myself from info I found online. This was in April 2010.

May 2010.
I get a Facebook invite to a church service being held in Albany NY with some traveling evangelists that had been camped out there, doing nightly "revival" services. I brushed it off a few days and said "maybe next time"... then a few more people sent me invites, and I started hearing a "buzz" around church about some "cool stuff " happening there with people being healed ( getting out of wheel chairs etc). So finally I decided to go down and see what all the fuss was about.....WOW... did God show up.. If I ever had any doubt before that God was real, I certainly did not  after being apart of a few of those meetings. It was amazing. I am not one for "showy" religious nonsense... but, I am all for supernatural awesomeness!

So after going down a few nights here and there, I decided to go down on may 18th 2010, after a REALLY LONG, super bad day. I had a fight with hubby, car had issues etc , etc...It was going well, lots of great worship, and amazing spirit filled brothers and sisters on FIRE for God. they had a special speaker in that night,his name was Jeff Garvin. He shared his personal testimony ( SOOOOO powerful!!!) and then began to read from the word... he then started to have a few words of knowledge for people in the body. One for a man with Knee issues, and one for back problems etc...Its got quiet... and all the sudden... he called me from out of the crowd.
All the sudden he spoke, "you, with your hands folded" ( me, looking up, like "what!?") He said "Come up here...There is something going on inside your abdomen, like where the female parts are, I am not sure what is going on but God is doing something in there"...I began to walk up.. and after that, do not remember much, once I got up there, he layed hands on me and down I went, like a wet dish rag... I do remember laying there, feeling my insides flip lop like there was a fish inside of me... and burning...it was sooo strange, cause I was semi conscious,but unable to move or get up, or speak..... but I was also at peace. It was such an amazing moment...One I would never forget, one I had never experienced before.

I got up a bit later, not sure of what happened, but 100% sure God moved in me, in ways I was not able to comprehend just yet... I went home and watched the web cast ( the streamed it on the web, as it was a global thing) and re watched it, and was shocked... he spoke things and prayed things over me, that were so powerful...It was beautiful...from that moment on, I just KNEW I was meant to be "put back together"..but just did not know "how" it would happen.  over the course of the next few months, I got more confirmation, but was still so unsure what it was going to "look like". Part of me believed I was healed already inside, and even hoped a little that we might get a miracle baby letting me know all was "normal" in there again...silly, I know, but I have faith that God can certainly do those things, just was not sure what his plan was for ME...But after a few more months, post tubal ligation syndrome kicked my butt, and I began to really research getting a reversal for it, and it seemed MANY ladies had went for one and gotten total relief. But there was NO way we could afford it...

I started Blogging about my PTLS journey, and started some support groups, and following a few ladies who had been down this road...they inspired me... Gave me HOPE. I told God, "look, if this is what you want, lead the way, and give me the $$" cause we had NONE to spare....

Jan 2011
God had blessed us soooo supernaturally, we had enough money for surgery, and money to fly my mom out to stay with the kids etc...and we were on top, and not drowning financially...it was a miracle.
I got to call and schedule my appt for a date in March, and it was soooo unreal at the time! I NEVER thought I would really be THERE, getting ready to have the surgery!

The next couple months DRAGGED as we waited for March 10th to come..It was so crazy!!

Then it came and went like a flash of light...and I was home recovering....That is where I birthed this idea in my head about how easy this would be. I really had it set in my mind, that this would just "happen" because the PTLS symptoms just washed away effortlessly after the reversal. I mean the fact that I was even considering trying again after dealing with a 2nd trimester loss, and in my previous years never even wanted more than 2 kids! I was certainly God's doing I even had the desire/consideration to have another to begin with, not to mention the numerous "messages" I got from people about having a dream of me having another baby boy etc..(mind you, from people who knew NOTHING of the reversal/healing service/post tubal issues, nadda).it was like the "stars all lined up" just right...

However, I do not take my struggles in this Journey as a discouragement... if anything, I am dedicated to inspiring other's not to give up and lose hope...This road can get LONG and hard, but in the end , it is worth each and every tear shed, and hard day...
One day the rainbow will come...

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